One-Page Learn · The Halachos at a glance
הִלְכוֹת גֵּרוּשִׁין
Divorce · Chapter 11
Sefer Nashim · Mi'un, the Refusal • The Door a Get Closes • The Waiting Intervals
2
Witnesses before whom
a refusal takes effect
6
Age below which
no refusal is needed
90
Days a divorcee or widow
waits before consecration
24
Months before a nursing
mother may marry
Part 1Mi'un: The Refusal and Its Record
- A rabbinic marriage can be undone, not dissolved. One should not marry a minor at all, but an orphan girl was permitted to marry so that someone would care for her. That bond is rabbinic and tentative: stay to majority and it is complete with no new kiddushin; refuse before then and she leaves with no get. (11:1)
- Any time, any number of times. She may refuse whether consecrated only or fully married, in his presence or outside it, and may refuse a yavam too; being consecrated to another man is itself a refusal. The right runs until she becomes a na'arah or is known to be an aylonit, and relations after age twelve end it, since those consecrate her Scripturally. (11:3-4)
- The test of understanding. Between six and ten the court checks whether she knows to guard the kiddushin money and grasps its purpose, keeping it differently from a nut or a date. Under six no refusal is needed even if she understands; over ten it is needed even if she is very inept; and if relatives married her off without naming the groom, nothing needs undoing. (11:7)
- The paper is only a receipt. She tells two witnesses she no longer wants him, even guests dining in his house whom she is serving, and it is done. The witnesses then record and sign that she rejected her husband. Unlike a get, where the giving effects the divorce, this needs no intent and no transfer, and the wording of a get is avoided so it will not be mistaken for one. (11:8-9, 11:11)
RememberA deaf-mute woman's marriage is equally rabbinic, yet the Sages withheld mi'un from her on purpose, since her right would never expire and men would then avoid marrying her. (11:2)
Part 2The Door a Get Closes
- Consecration closes it, conduct does not. A divorced woman who becomes consecrated to another man is forbidden to her first husband, even without relations; he is lashed and forced to divorce her if he takes her back. But relations with another man while divorced do not forbid her, since the verse turns on her becoming another man's wife. (11:12-13)
- What is known, not what is feared. Included in the prohibition: an adulterous wife becomes forbidden to her husband. The raped wife of an Israelite is excepted. A wife who defied his warning against seclusion brings only stripes of rebellion, because nothing was ever established about her. (11:14)
- Refusal voids rather than ends. She is not his divorcee at all: she may marry his relatives, he hers, and she is not disqualified from the priesthood. She may even return to him after a second marriage that ended by death, divorce or refusal. (11:16)
- Order of events decides. Reverse it and the door shuts: a girl divorced by get, who then marries another and ends that by refusal, may not return to the first, lest he influence her to refuse the second, since he sent her away and she never rejected him. A girl who refused a yavam stays forbidden to his father, though not to the other relatives. (11:16-17)
RememberA woman divorced by a competent man who then married a deaf-mute and was divorced may return to her first husband, since the second marriage was never Scripturally binding. (11:15)
Part 3Ninety Days, Twenty Four Months
- Ninety days, counted from the writing. A divorcee or widow waits ninety days before consecration, so one husband's seed is distinguished from the next. The count starts the day the get was written, even if written conditionally or delivered years later, since from then on he is no longer alone with her. (11:18-19)
- A line drawn so nobody is assessed. A minor, an elderly woman, a barren woman, an aylonit, a woman whose husband was overseas, sick or imprisoned, even a virgin merely consecrated: all wait. So do a freed maidservant and a convert, and a gentile couple converting together separate ninety days; a captive woman's Torah given thirty are counted inside the ninety. (11:20-21)
- Who does not wait. A girl who left by refusal waits nothing, since the decree was made about a divorcee. Nor does a woman who had promiscuous relations, or one raped or seduced, or a minor unable to conceive who was separated by the court from a mistaken marriage. Consecrate inside the ninety days and a ban of ostracism follows. (11:22-24)
- Twenty four months for the child. No man may marry or consecrate a woman pregnant or nursing by another man, lest he harm the fetus or let her milk fail, since another man's child is not his concern. The count excludes the day of birth and the day of consecration, and a wet nurse or early weaning does not release her. (11:25-27)
RememberTransgress and marry such a woman and he must divorce her, even a priest, who can then never take her back; one who only consecrated her is not forced out but may not consummate until the time runs. (11:28)