One-Page Learn · The Halachos at a glance
אִישׁוּת
Marriage 3
Sefer Nashim · How kiddushin is established through money, a document or relations, why the statement must name the woman rather than the man, and the acts that are fully binding and earn stripes at the same time
3
Ways the bond is made: money, a legal document, or relations
1
Prutah, in coin or its worth, and the money side is complete
1/2
Of a man she may be consecrated to, while half of her cannot be consecrated at all
2
Witnesses required to appoint her agent, and none required to appoint his
Part 1The three modes, and which way the sentence has to point
- Money, a document, or relations. With money he gives a prutah or its worth before witnesses while stating that she is consecrated, betrothed or becomes his wife through it; with a document he writes such a statement on paper, a shard, a leaf or anything else and hands it over before witnesses; with relations he states the same and enters privacy before witnesses, and the bond takes effect at the conclusion of the act. (3:1, 3:3, 3:5)
- He speaks and he gives. If she gave the money and she spoke, or she gave and he spoke, the bond is not established at all, and if he gave and she spoke the status of the kiddushin is left in doubt. (3:2)
- The document must be written for her and with her consent. Like a bill of divorce it must be written for the sake of this particular woman and with her agreement, and if it was written for another or without her consent nothing is established even when he hands it to her willingly before witnesses. (3:4)
- A statement about himself accomplishes nothing. Saying or writing that he is her husband, her betrothed or her man establishes nothing whatever, while naming her as his wife, his betrothed, acquired to him, his, his possession, his designated one, within his property or bound to him establishes the marriage. (3:6)
- The doubtful list, and the conversation that gives it weight. Set aside for him, earmarked for him, his helper, his counterpart, his rib, closed off for him, below him, his captive, or taken by him all leave the kiddushin in doubt, and only where the two had already been speaking about marriage, since otherwise those words are of no consequence at all; and any language she understands serves, so that a couple already discussing the matter need no explicit statement when he places the money in her hand. (3:7, 3:8)
RememberSame coin, same witnesses, same intention. A sentence that names him builds nothing and a sentence that names her is binding.
Part 2Halves, and the authority of a father
- He may be divided and she may not. Consecrating her to half of him works, comparable to saying that she and another woman will both be his wives, so that she has only half a man, whereas consecrating half of her establishes nothing, since a woman cannot be consecrated to two men, and the same holds where he consecrates her to himself and to another. (3:9)
- Halves that close in one breath. Half of her with a prutah and the other half with a second prutah, or each half with half a prutah, establishes the bond, while half today and half tomorrow, both halves with one prutah, two daughters to two sons with one prutah, or a daughter and a cow or a field with one prutah, all leave the status in doubt. (3:10)
- A father's rights until she is a bogeret. He may consecrate his daughter without her knowledge from birth until she becomes a bogeret and the kiddushin money is his, along with what she finds, what she earns and her ketubah if she is widowed or divorced before nisu'in, and this holds even for a daughter who cannot hear or understand. (3:11)
- Nobody may act in his place, and his authority ends for good. A girl below majority who accepts kiddushin without her father is not consecrated even if he consents afterward and whether or not he was present, and both she and he can void it; once she becomes a bogeret, or once she has entered nisu'in even as a minor and is then widowed or divorced, he has no authority over her at all. (3:12, 3:13)
- Doubtful age, doubtful kiddushin. Where it is unclear whether she has become a bogeret, the kiddushin is doubtful whether her father acted without her consent or she acted without his, and she requires a get before marrying another. (3:14)
RememberWhat is acquired must be taken whole. The one acquiring can be spread as thin as he likes.
Part 3Agents, the mitzvah of acting in person, and valid acts that earn stripes
- Her agent needs witnesses and his does not. A woman past majority, a man, and a father may all appoint agents, and her appointment requires two witnesses while his does not, since witnesses there serve only to establish that the appointment occurred, so an acknowledged agency needs none; a person's agent is regarded as the person himself, and two men sent to consecrate serve as agents and as the witnesses. (3:14, 3:15, 3:16)
- Who cannot be sent. One who cannot hear or understand and a minor are unfit because they bear no responsibility, a gentile is unfit because an agent must be a member of the covenant, and a Canaanite servant, acceptable as an agent in financial matters, is unfit here because the laws of marriage and divorce do not apply to him. (3:17)
- It is a mitzvah not to send anyone. A man should consecrate his wife himself and a woman should receive her kiddushin herself rather than through an agent, a father should not consecrate a daughter until she has grown and named the man she wants, and a man should not consecrate a woman he has not seen and found fitting, lest he come to divorce her or lie beside her while hating her. (3:18, 3:19)
- Binding and punishable at once. Relations and a document establish kiddushin by Scriptural law and money does as well though its exposition is Rabbinic, universal custom is money or its worth, and one who consecrates through relations, or without a prior engagement, or in the marketplace, receives stripes for rebelliousness while the kiddushin remain fully binding. (3:20, 3:21, 3:22)
- The blessing has no place afterward. He or his agent recites the blessing of erusin before consecrating as with any mitzvah, and one who consecrated without it does not recite it afterward, since the act is already performed and the blessing would be in vain; the custom is to recite it over wine or beer where either is available. (3:23, 3:24)
RememberWhether an act worked and whether it should have been done that way are two separate questions, and this chapter answers them independently.